To the Men Who Saw Something in Me

We live in a world that — rightly — still talks a lot about the gaps between men and women. The pay gap. The opportunity gap. The respect gap. And I'm not going to sit here and pretend any of that isn't real. It is. For a lot of women, every single day, in ways big and small, the message is still: you are less than.

But that's not the story I want to tell today.Because when I look back at my own life, what I have experienced is different and I think it's a story worth telling too.

The men who have shaped my career haven't been the ones holding me back or saying "You're doing great right where you are" while never giving me opportunities to do more or grow into a different role. They've been the ones pushing me forward — sometimes harder than I was pushing myself.

I remember the first time one told me that I had a good insight into how technology worked and that I would make a great QA tester. No way had ever seen that in me before (except for my husband, who is ridiculously amazing by the way). Because of what he saw in me, he pulled me into QA testing, he brought me along on code changes he was making and on bug fixes that he was addressing while teaching me as we went. He told me I had potential across so many areas — implementations, product support, technical writing, business analysis, systems analysis, customer education, training, quality assurance. Instead of saying I was great right where I was or bypassing me to talk to a male co-worker, he showed me that I am capable of more and that I deserve more. He showed that my range of skills and interest was a strength and that I deserved the chance to use them and what value I can bring to a team by using them.

One man went out of his way to seek my advice on new graphics for our company's integrations — not because he had to due to company policy or procedure, but because he respected how I thought and my experience working with them. He knew how detailed and strategic I was, how carefully I tracked customer concerns and feedback, and wanted to add what I had to the new UX design the company was working on. As time went on, he met with me to make sure I was included in progress updates and to ask for my evaluation on the progress. He also went above and beyond and involved me in QA work on the project. My role was really outside of UX work, but since he saw value in me, he seeked me out.

Another told me, "I can definitely see you being a product manager one day." It was so shocking. I hadn't even considered it. But he had. He'd been watching the way I thought through problems, the way I communicated, the way I understood the product and customer needs — and he saw something I hadn't yet seen in myself. He also told me "You're so smart in how you think. If I ever went to work at another company, I would want someone like you to come with me." Such a high compliment, my jaw dropped when he said it. That kind of statement didn't just feel good. It gave me hope that one day I could be more and have a role where I can use more of my skills and abilities.

Shortly after meeting me, another said that he valued my opinion and wanted me involved in decisions — not out of obligation, but because he genuinely believed I had something to offer. He called me a "lighthouse person" — someone who provides solid, reliable guidance on issues. Although I put in a lot of effort to go above and beyond in my role, I had never thought of myself that way, but the way he said it made me believe it. This man saw that my skills had outgrown my role and wanted me to be a part of important future projects — projects that would stretch me, challenge me, and ultimately help me grow while providing great value to the company. And it wasn't just words. He turned it into action.

Now, I want to be clear about something. I know not every woman has this experience. I know there are men out there who still look at women and see less than. Who talks over them. Who passes them over. Who make assumptions about what they can and can't do based on nothing more than gender. That's real, and it matters, and we should keep calling it out.

But I also think there's something important about telling the other story. The one about the men who showed up differently. The ones who didn't just say they believed in equality — they lived it. They looked at the women around them and saw talent, drive, and potential, and then they did something about it. They opened doors. They offered opportunities. They spoke life into abilities that might have stayed hidden without their encouragement.

These men didn't do it because it was trendy. They didn't do it for recognition or personal reasons. They did it because that's just who they are — people who see the best in others and want to help it grow.

So to all of you — the ones who told me I was capable of more, the ones who pulled me into rooms I didn't yet think I belonged in and technically didn't, the ones who valued my mind and my voice and sought it out — thank you. The world needs more people like you. Men and women both. People who look at others — regardless of gender — and say, "I see what you can do. Let me help you get there."

And one day, I hope I get the chance to fully be what you see in me and have tried to help me become. So for every man who ever saw potential in a woman and had the courage to say so out loud and do something about it— thank you so much!